Whew! Ms. Chops, chops.

Ummm...where am I? No, I didn't swallow crushed glass in a bottle of Sam Ad's. I was apparently abducted by task-master aliens who have made me cut down trees, chop, split and stack wood for the last week. Apparently, my performance has pleased the aliens because they set me free for a couple hours to catch up on blogging. The good news is, that we have enough fire wood for next year. The bad news is no one is reading my blog anymore. But wait!!!! Have you heard about Bacon Salt????? I have the review coming up.

Sam Ad's Recall

This just in: Sam Adams has reported that some of their beer bottles are defective and contain glass particles. The recall is for 12 oz. brown bottled stamped with N35 followed by 0I. If you have any Sam's at home, read on here for info about returning product, etc: http://www.boston.com/business/ticker/2008/04/glass_particles.html?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed3

If you don't have any Sam Ad's at home, give yourself a nice smug little pat on the back for making your way past gateway beers.

Bernanke Must Drink Cheap Beer

OK, so I have been voicing a lot of complaints recently. What can I say, I got stuck on the soap box and found out the extra height is slimming. So here's my next rant: the falling value of the dollar is making imported beer way too expensive! I am all for paying more for a quality product but, that is not the issue here. Yes, the FED has told you that the AVERAGE American will not really notice the devaluation of the dollar and only people who travel a lot will. But what about us, supposedly "unaverage" people who like good beer? Well, " Helicopter Ben", I'm pretty sure anyone who likes imported beer has noticed. I really noticed when I called my supplier and he informed me that the price of my next keg went up 55 dollars because the dollar is so weak. I guess I should just console myself with the fact that a keg of, gag, Corona might not be going up anytime soon. Maybe that's what Ben drinks with his dinner every night. Somehow, I doubt it. On the other hand, if the Canadian dollar rises anymore, we probably won't be able to afford Labatt's. I realize, the price of everything is going up, blah..blah...blah. I, personally, am willing to drag myself to work on bare bloody stumps to save on gas, but forgo imported beer? This is an outrage!!! I don't want to pay for other people's bad mortgages, or banks that made bad investments, and I refuse to drink Budweiser! I just want good, affordable beer. Is that really too much for this average American to ask Ben?

For Hire: Beer Sommelier

Excuse me! I have detected a serious problem in the world of beer! There are virtually no "beer sommeliers". In fact, there are still people out there debating why you can't call someone who can pair beer and food a sommelier at all. HMMMMMPF! We can't just let those lousy wine snobs have all fun!! Perhaps this may be the root of the whole problem with beers diminished status- there are no fancy beer ambassadors out there to teach the willing how to enjoy good food with the appropriate beer. Although it has been reported that there may be a few people officially calling themselves beer sommeliers, (one of note in Los Angeles and the other in New York City) there seems to be a grave deficiency here.

I would argue though, that there are many dedicated beer lovers out there that already qualify for this position. For instance, the staff of the Dirty Truth, would be a good example. The owner of the Dirty Truth generously arranges for his staff to take an intensive beer tour every year. They visit breweries and beer establishments all over Europe and come back brimming with beer excitement, first hand beer knowledge and -I can only imagine- toxified livers. Every time I have visited the Dirty Truth, I have had a delightful conversation with a knowledgeable and young person. Their ages are of note here because the East Coast beer scene is conspicuously dominated by men over forty. At beer tastings, I am usually the youngest person in the room, and most often, the only female. It is refreshing to see a next generation of beer enthusiasts stepping up to set an example. One of these lovely staff members even did me the service of recommending what will now be our next beer on tap: Monschof Schwarzbier! A beer I may never have gotten to know if not for his suggestion. The other example of real world beer sommeliers that come to mind are the staff of just about any quality beer establishment in Belgium. I suppose this is just natural when quality beer is a source of a country's national pride. I still think the term "sommelier" might be a little stuffy for the beer world. But, if people need a stuffy term to get excited about beer, well, I'm on board. I'm also for hire as one, if anyone is interested!

IPA- Spawn of Pale Ale

Recently, a friend wrote concerning the difference between pale ales and India pale ales. Upon first thought, I supposed that the true difference between the two was that an IPA is usually hoppier, and has a higher alcohol content. Although this is true, there is a way more intriguing story behind it all. In the beginning, there was English pale ale. Pale, being mostly a color distinction between a light beer and darker stouts. Then came the colonization of India. And, as everybody knows, you can't properly colonize a country without beer. So, the English were understandably peeved when they found out that their beloved ales were arriving in India sour and undrinkable. Due to the fact that India was seen as a huge new open market for beer, English brewers scrambled to solve the problem. After many failures, a fellow by the name of George Hodgson surmounted this challenge with beer's two best preservative friends: Mr. Hops and Mr. Alcohol. And voila, IPA was born! Due to the huge temperature fluctuations in carrying ale aboard ships, the beer was probably still arriving skunked. However, due to the magic of heavy hopping and heavy alcohol (up to 10%) no one really cared or could taste the sourness. Thus, the Limeys were free again to subjugate the masses, unimpeded by lack of beer. If you would like to read the whole interesting story of how the British learned how to ship good beer to India, etc. visit this site, http://brewingtechniques.com/library/styles/2_2style.html where you will get a far more detailed, and politically neutral version of what went on. It really is very interesting. Almost as interesting as actually drinking an IPA- well not really. If you are ambivalent about which IPA to sample while reading the story- and it will make you want a beer- try Stone Coast's extra hoppy 420 IPA or, the safer, more popular, and easy to find Dogfish 60 minute. Dogfish also makes a 90 minute IPA (9%) which is pretty close to the alcohol strength of the original IPAs shipped to India and 120 minute IPA that is very very strong (20%) and a could make you act like an English soccer hooligan if you had too many. I think it would be great experiment to try carrying around a Dogfish 90 minute in the trunk of a car for a summer and seeing if it holds up to it's well-preserved heritage. Now that would be impressive.

Whining about beer, etc.

OK, I have been remiss in posting. I freely admit it. I got out of my cast the other day and confess to having a serious case of spring fever. Or, stump pulling fever. I am making room on the top of our hill for a bigger vegetable garden. Thus, removal of all shade-causing vegetation. So, out of a cast one day, taking down trees the next! This apparently results in much less blogging on my part. Oh yeah, and then there's that annoying other thing, my job. Yep, this is a whole lot of whining. But it gets worse. I have had nothing but bad beer experiences recently. All of my favorite haunts are now on my "S" list. I have gotten bad beer, skunked beer, beer from septic lines, too expensive beer and bad food to go with it! Need I go on? Is it really too much to ask for to have delicious beer on tap and good food? The Belgians seem to be able to pull it if with astonishing regularity. The truth is, the beer scene in CT is so small is doesn't take long to exhaust all the options. At least, we still have Maibock on tap. To tell the truth, I think I might become a beer hermit. I'll just stay home, with a nice clean, reasonbly priced, unseptic beer of my choosing. I'll just chop wood and drink beer. Maybe the Trappists and Benedictines have it right after all. Stay tuned for more positive things to come, soon, I promise.

Ham Pants

A while back I reviewed Stoltzfus bacon and now, in the name of research, I have personally inspected and savored one of their tasty hams. My brother and sister-in-law put on an awesome spread for Easter including an absolutely ginormous ham from Stoltzfus. It was the size of a small child- I am not kidding- it was almost 20 lbs!!! The ham was a big hit. It was tender, juicy, flavorful, and just plain delicious. In fact, I ate so much of it, and it was so yummy, I had to go home and put on my "ham pants". You know those comfy pants you wear after eating far too much? If only the uniform pants I wear to work were like ham pants. Sadly, they are not. And now, I am at back at work again having some conflicted, and constricted feelings about eating too much Easter ham.

Are You Getting Enough Beer?

Like your mother probably told you- everything in moderation. Although, it turns out, that this advice also applies to your drinking habits. The good news is that if you drink 1-2 glasses of beer a day, you have a better chance of being healthy later on in life! In fact, you have a better chance of being healthy than your tea-totalling neighbor who likes to eyeball your recycling bin chock full of beer bottles. You heard it here first! Not drinking is NOT healthy!! A recent study shows that a group of moderate drinkers age 65 and over were able to be more active, and perform more rigorous tasks than people in the same age group who drank a lot or not at all! Maybe I should be reviewing other people's empty recycling bins with equal indignation! Perhaps, like a Jehova, I should be knocking on people's doors on recycling day to preech the gospel of beer. "Excuse me", I would say, "I noticed you haven't been drinking enough recently. I'd like to talk with you about how drinking more beer will make you a healthier person." This would beat a copy of the Watch Tower every time!

Although the consensus is that drinking 1-2 glasses of any type of alcohol is ultimately beneficial, I like to think beer is a better choice. It's time for those red wine snobs to make room in the spotlight! Quality beer, especially bottle conditioned types, has many nutritional benefits from living yeast, vitamin A, vitamins B6, B2, B1, and trace minerals chromium, potassium, iron. And let's not forget hops either. The medicinal value of hops has been known for centuries: it is anti-inflammatory, anti-stress, and, like red wine, contains anti-oxidant compounds. Beer has a lot more to offer than that shot of JD for sure. Women have also reported a very hoppy beer like a IPA, helps with symptoms of PMS! You hear that gentlemen? When was the last time you offered your wife a quality beer? It could actually do more for you than a lousy bouquet of flowers.

Where, you ask, did all these pearls of wisdom originate? Well, those crafty Belgians have come up with yet another good idea: a whole website devoted to beer and health related issues! The site, http://www.beerandhealth.com/, is run by physician/journalist Dr. Marleen Finoulst, and sponsored by the professional federation of Belgian Brewers. You just have to love Belgium!

Here is a list of fast beer substitutions that will improve your health!

1. Skip the gym and drink a beer: moderate beer drinkers statistically weigh less overall than people who don't drink. They also have lower levels of triglycerides (bad cholesterol) than non-drinkers
2. Skip the soda and drink a beer: a regular sized soda contains twice the calories as a beer of similar size!
3. Skip the tofu and drink a beer: some beers containing hops are as good a source of favorable estrogens as soybeans
4. Skip the chocolate bunny and drink a beer: a person who consumes the same amount of calories from beer vs. the same amount of calories from chocolate will not gain as much weight! (Sorry about this Ms. Yum Yum!)