Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A Self Pity Theme Song for My F'ing Foot

So here I am on the couch again. I went for surgery on my foot and seeing as the sign at the Hospital where I registered said AMBULATORY SURGERY I figured I'd be WALKING out. Well, no, in fact I am in a splint that was bigger than the cast I was in for 8 weeks this winter. And worse- no weight bearing on this foot. I am in such a pathetic state- it reminds me of that song by the Statler Brothers, "Flowers on The Wall".

I keep hearin' you're concerned about my happiness
But all that thought you're givin' me is conscience I guess
If I was walkin' in your shoes, I wouldn't worry none
While you 'n' your friends are worried about me I'm havin' lots of fun

[Chorus:]Countin' flowers on the wall
That don't bother me at all
Playin' solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one
Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo
Now don't tell me I've nothin' to do

Last night I dressed in tails, pretended I was on the town
As long as I can dream it's hard to slow this swinger down
So please don't give a thought to me, I'm really doin' fine
You can always find me here, I'm havin' quite a time
It's good to see you, I must go, I know I look a fright
Anyway my eyes are not accustomed to this light
And my shoes are not accustomed to this hard concrete
So I must go back to my room and make my day complete
Countin' flowers on the wall....

I think Frances, my anesthesiologist, should have put me to sleep for three weeks until I could walk again. Oh, the wallowing!


Anonymous said...

Wow! That brings back memories of driving to Alabama from Maine to visit friends. The longest freakin' drive on earth, listening to my father's country music all the way. I know that song word for word, and I didn't realize it until this post. Thanks (for nothing) for dredging up that memory!

Ms. Chops said...

Ooops! I guess it's just that kind of song. Truthfully, it brings back awful memories of my first year in a college. This pseudo- lesbian girl who lived down the hall used to stalk me. This was her favorite song. Talk about bad memories!