All this talk of beef just reminded me of a contest I waged with my Dad when I was in college. Around the dinner table one night, my parents, my boyfriend, and I were discussing just how much cow each of us could possibly eat in one sitting. After some wild speculation on my part, my father replied that he could eat us all under the table. The gauntlet was thrown down and a meat eating contest was declared.
The next week my Mom cooked two 5 lb. roast beefs. The rules were: we would have to eat an entire plate of meat (weighed) w/ a veggie and helping of mashed potatoes. After this was accomplished, we could then switch to eating just meat for the remainder of the contest. My mother insisted that everyone had to keep their meals down. If any one threw up- game over. Between the 3 of us (Mom only participated in the weighing) we easily finished an entire 4 lb. roast beef. This seemed pretty easy at first, but inertia was quickly upon us. We proceeded to the next roast where upon Andy and I caved with 1 and 1/2 lb. and 1 and 3/4 lb.s of meat respectively. My father, on the other hand had merely paused. Stretched out, hands crossed behind his head, paunch protruding slightly from underneath his t-shirt, he smirked and asked us if we officially surrendered. Queasy, and groaning with beef toxicity, we could only nod. With a victorious flourish, my father got up from the table, gallantly speared the ENTIRE rest of the roast with a meat fork and deposited it on his plate, whereupon he proceeded to finish it as we looked on in horror. From that day forth my father's title, 4.8 lbs of beef ingested, remains unchallenged . He currently resides in Arizona where he and his pal Brad have been known to cook and casually polish off entire 5 lb. rib roast in one sitting (with a side of mashed potatoes of course). Anyone want a shot at the title?
The next week my Mom cooked two 5 lb. roast beefs. The rules were: we would have to eat an entire plate of meat (weighed) w/ a veggie and helping of mashed potatoes. After this was accomplished, we could then switch to eating just meat for the remainder of the contest. My mother insisted that everyone had to keep their meals down. If any one threw up- game over. Between the 3 of us (Mom only participated in the weighing) we easily finished an entire 4 lb. roast beef. This seemed pretty easy at first, but inertia was quickly upon us. We proceeded to the next roast where upon Andy and I caved with 1 and 1/2 lb. and 1 and 3/4 lb.s of meat respectively. My father, on the other hand had merely paused. Stretched out, hands crossed behind his head, paunch protruding slightly from underneath his t-shirt, he smirked and asked us if we officially surrendered. Queasy, and groaning with beef toxicity, we could only nod. With a victorious flourish, my father got up from the table, gallantly speared the ENTIRE rest of the roast with a meat fork and deposited it on his plate, whereupon he proceeded to finish it as we looked on in horror. From that day forth my father's title, 4.8 lbs of beef ingested, remains unchallenged . He currently resides in Arizona where he and his pal Brad have been known to cook and casually polish off entire 5 lb. rib roast in one sitting (with a side of mashed potatoes of course). Anyone want a shot at the title?
2 comments:
Impressive - but could he do the same with beef tongue?
Wait a minute. I know that dude! I think I saw his mugshot hanging up at the local vegetarian restaurant.
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