Bad Beer Continued

When life hands you bad beer, make malt vinegar! When our first beer flopped at the end of this summer, I decided to try my hand at making vinegar. It didn't seem hard, just pour your failed alcoholic beverage into an open container (stainless steel or ceramic), cover with cheese cloth and wait. If you are lucky, vinegar-making bacteria will come and live on it. Take a peek every couple of weeks, and you will eventually see a layer of mold covering the top of your liquid. This is mother-of-vinegar, the magical beasty that makes vinegar sour. In my case, after about 4 months, this finally happened and now I have some pretty damn' delicious malt vinegar! When you think it's acid enough for your taste, filter it through some cheese cloth and bottle it. I knew mine was ready when Mr. Chops (the Golden Nose) started complaining that our office smelled like cheese. I was keeping my pot of vinegar under the desk because it was too cold in the cellar. What? Not everybody does this? Whatever....Apparently, you can also make vinegar with all those unfinished dregs of wine bottles you might have just lying around. Just keep on pouring them into a crock (under your desk/table/bed), and with a little patience (and some funky smells), wine vinegar! It will undoubtedly be tastier, and better quality than the everyday swill in the grocery store.

From the Brew Room: A Cautionary Tale

Brewing can be easy and fun- if you begin like normal people would, not like type A, beer-snob control-freaks. That being said- we decided to cut some corners in the venerable process of learning to brew and went straight to brewing all-grain. With our noses high in the air after our first successful brew (most of this success we really owed to our brewing tutor, the Naughty Nurse) we went straight to brewing all-grain Belgian beer recipes. This, if you know anything about brewing, is laughable. So our second brew- a saisson-style beer failed, our third beer a Belgian golden did too. At this point, we cried/whined for many hours. It was only after we seriously considered a conspiracy theory where Terry Boyd (of Mountview Plaza Wines and Liquors) secretly infected our basement with rampant funky yeast strains that rendered us incapable of brewing so we would be forced to only buy kegs from him- that we snapped out of it and decided to get some answers. So we headed to our local bar and unofficial Beer Nerd headquarters, My Place, to accost our wiser, and unwitting brewing colleagues with a most regrettable taste test. Here's how our critique sessions started off:


Mark: (Takes a whiff) "Hmmmmm...doesn't smell infected. (Tastes) Oh my god! Band aids! "

Crapper: "Wow...phenolic bomb...I taste clove, banana, cleanser, chlorine?"

The Nurse: "Christ! There's something good under the phenols but I mostly taste throat lozenges. You know the fake lemony ones?"

Phil: "Smells pretty good really- but the taste....soapy"

Crapper: "Yeah, I'm done tasting that. (gags, pushing the glass to a safe distance)"


After much helpful consideration here are the theories on how we went wrong:


Crapper- "It's the plastic primary fermenter! That's your problem! Jesus! Just man up and buy a glass carboy"


Nurse- "I've used the same plastic bucket for 15 years! I think it's the water..."


Crapper- (to the Nurse) "You're wrong, just so wrong!" (To us) "Don't listen to him..." (back to the Nurse) "How would you know anyway? How many brewing awards have you won?"


Nurse: "I don't need awards, I save them for people like you, who have to constantly bolster their own egos"


Mark: "Well, it could be the water, it could be your racking cane, the temperature you brewed at, the plastic....we need to get rid of some variables."


Crapper: "Start by getting the Nurse's brewing equipment out of your basement! That's your real problem."


And there you have it- back to the drawing table. And what of our failed beers? Well, I was unable to let go of the first failure so it became Eisbock ( beer that's frozen to concentrate the alcohol) This actually came out really good- although the yield was pretty low, only a couple of bottles. The rest of that batch went to making malt vinegar. Also pretty good so far (still fermenting) Our second, most recent beer failure is being combined with a lactic yeast strain, mixed with fruit, and left, hopefully to breath off its phenol band-aids and magically become lambic..........it's a long shot but I hate to waste anything especially, $70 worth of brewing ingredients (ouch!) and a days worth of labor. I am left thinking about our friend and fellow beer enthusiast, Jan's response when we asked whether or not he brews beer. His answer, which echoes in my brain, was "Brew beer? Why? There are so many delicious beers I can just go out and buy!" Hurumph!!!

Christmas The Whole Year Through

If you are anything like me, Christmas = Delicious Food and Drink. Some holiday items, like Christmas cookies, fruit cake, or your crazy uncle Eddie- no one wants to revisit throughout the year, but Christmas beers are a different story. There are many holiday beers still in stores right now that are worth stocking up on. Many holiday beers are dark, rich, spicy, and very alcoholic. These beers are great as a nite cap or instead of dessert, but some defy the normal range of everyday drinkability. This Pere Noel however, is different. Made by De Ranke Bewery in Belgium, this beer has a crisp refreshing champagne like character. It is also rather generously hopped for a Belgian ale and not too high in alcohol. Although it is indeed festive enough for the holidays, it is also a good candidate for year-round drinking. I suspect Pere Noel is actually the same recipe as one of my all time favorite beers by De Ranke, Double X bitter. However, it is richer, more heavily spiced and aged longer (perhaps in oak?) than the Double X to make it special for the holidays. Although I am sure it would go well with food, I think it is perfectly delicious all on its own. I happened to noticed a couple of liquor stores in the area were still stocking this beer. So pick up a bottle or two and like the Santa on the lable, you too will be hugging your glass.

Get Your Krauch on!

When we first decided to go to Nova Scotia this summer we hit the tour books hard. Yes, there was lovely scenery, places to go kayaking, blah, blah, blah- but what about the food? Skipping through the photos in the middle section of one of the tour guides we both stopped cold. There it was: a photo of a modest looking young man, leaning lovingly over a gigantic tray of salmon being smoked. The caption said something inane like "Nova Scotia has wonderful fresh seafood, like smoked salmon". Yes, but where? Where was this man and his delicious looking smoked salmon? Sadly, there was no mention. No matter! We would just have to find it ourselves.

Now, flash to the Chops Nova Scotia vacation 2008. We had been on the road for many hours. It was getting dark and we were anticipating the final arrival at our cottage in the-middle-of-nowhere. We were tired, and as always, hungry. Then, on the otherwise deserted road- we see a most interesting sign. It reads "J. Willy Krauch's Smoked Fish- Salmon, Mackerel, Trout and Eel, 2.5 km ahead". What an amazing coincidence! Could this be the smoked fish shop of our dreams?? Mr. Chops and I both immediately think, 'boy smoked fish would be great right now, but no way they are open at 5:57 PM on a Saturday evening'. But then, the next sign says "Krauch's Smoked Fish: Open Daily 8-6". Hallelujah! But, I am still skeptical, we haven't even seen another car in hours. We turn off the road, as directed by the next sign, into a small common dirt drive with a very dark looking house and a very closed looking smokehouse next door that- gasp!- has an open sign affixed to it! Now, out of the car, and lured by the seductive scent of smoking fish in the air and push open the door. All of a sudden we are standing in what appears to be a mini-automat with a smiling young lady in a hair net sitting behind the counter. Have I mentioned we haven't see a living thing in over an hour? And yet, here is this young lady, apparently just waiting patiently for us to show up. We reach into the cooler with the mini automat-style doors and greedily grab cold smoked salmon, hot smoked lemon pepper mackerel, and smoked eel. Stunned by our good luck and ever increasing hunger, we drive another mile down the road and discover that our cottage is but minutes from Krauch headquarters! One quick look at the breathtaking view from our cottage window and we were sweeping the dust off the kitchen table. Surrounded by all our camping stuff piled on the floor, we polish off the whole lot of Krauch's smoked goodies, straight up, with crackers, and a beer out of the cooler.

However, dear readers, I must confess, the smoked fish feeding frenzy did not end here. Unabashed, we were back the very next day, and again, and again! We even began using the name Krauch in everyday conversation. As in- "It's Krauch-o'clock", "Krauch-time", "Krauch-tastic", and "Are you ready to get your Krauch on?" So frequently, did we go to Krauch's, that the girl with the hair net, Jaimie, knew us by our first names. She was even kind enough to give us a tour of the place and tell us more about the fish-smoking virtuoso, Willy J. Krauch. He immigrated from Denmark to Nova Scotia with his wife in the 1950's, and started a fish smoking business. He and his wife raised 10 kids- 5 girls and 5 boys. The boys still run the business, as Mr. Krauch has sadly passed on. But Mrs. Krauch still lives right across the road in the family homestead. There is no doubt that the photo we saw in our guide book is in fact one of the Krauch's tending their fish. You see, Krauch's smoked fish is a legend of sorts. The smoke shop is lined with articles heralding the many pleasures of eating Krauch's fish. In fact, people come from all over Nova Scotia to buy fish from Krauch and Sons. Jaimie informed us that people actually make a weekend out of driving out to Tangier to the smokehouse just buy smoked fish. We confirmed this rumor while at the counter one day when we spoke to a delivery man standing in line who said that all the drivers where he works fight for the route that goes by Krauch's smokehouse. At first, this may seem strange until you try the fish and then you, too will be willing to drive 8 hours to pick some up for yourself (Just make sure you have plenty of gas, a spare tire, and cold beer made somewhere other than Nova Scotia on hand).

Luckily, if this isn't your idea of a good time- you could just order it, like the Queen of England does, by simply picking up the phone. Here's the info:

J. Willy Krauch & Sons Ltd.
Highway 7, Halifax Co.,
Box 81 Tangier, Nova Scotia
Canada B0J 3
Phone 1-902-772-2188
Toll Free: 1-800-758-4412
Email: willykrauch@ns.sympatico.ca
Contact: Max Krauch
Established: 1956

Krauch's cold smoked salmon is truly out of this world and my (and the Queen's) personal favorite. We can also recommend the smoked eel, although not for the faint of heart- it comes with head and skin still attached. In addition, the hot smoked salmon was delicious. From talking to the many other folks at the counter, the hot smoked salmon seems to be the local favorite. I am not usually a fan of hot smoked salmon- it's generally too dry w/ not enough flavor. But Krauch's was delicious, smokey and moist. The lemon pepper mackerel was excellent too and Mr. Chops really liked the herring. So go ahead and get your Krauch on- you won't be sorry!

Confit

Too much goose and goose fat lying around after the holidays? Me too! Everybody should have these sorts of problems. I can't believe it has been over a year since our first goose butchering escapade at farmer Kate's- but goose D-day has come and gone. We have cooked our Christmas goose (a bona-fide young goose this time- thank god!), and had an extra goose and plenty of goose fat left over so we made confit!

A while back, at a party, I was given an excellent recipe for confit by a young aspiring chef named Anthony. He is a very patient man. Because he is a chef, and we are completely obsessed with food, every time we see him, we gather around him and bombard him with culinary questions. I am sure he would rather be drinking his beer in peace, but he is always nice enough to indulge us with all sorts of useful tidbits of knowledge. I am not sure what poor Tony gets out of it, perhaps semi-entertaining stories about us elbow deep in goose guts? Who knows.

Anyhow, here's his recipe for Conft. Because we now have an annual arrangement with our farmer friend for fresh geese, we use goose for this recipe, although, traditionally, it's made with duck. You are probably thinking that you would never try this, but believe me, it's worth it. And I know that if you are still reading Hops and Chops your are not a fat-a-phobe. The fat used here, is mostly just to preserve the meat while it's aging. The meat comes out super silky, with an intensely rich flavor that gets better the longer you let it hangout in the frige. It's great straight up, in cassoulets, or even on a sandwich! Feel free to fry up some slices of potato in with all your extra goose fat when re-heating the confit. Add some salad and you've got an easy (and oh-so-fancy) dinner

Basic Confit:

Break down your poultry eight-ways ( leg, thigh, wing, breast )
Put the breasts aside for another use, weigh and toss the rest of the cuts in the following:

1/4 oz (or 1/2 Tblspn) kosher salt PER POUND

1 clove garlic, smashed PER POUND

2 springs fresh thyme PER POUND

...toss together, place in oven-proof pan, cover, and refrigerate overnight.The next day remove the pieces and rinse all the salt off and place back into pan with aromatics. Just cover the meat with rendered duck (or goose fat) , cover with foil, and place in 325F over for 2 - 3 hours until overtly fork tender. Allow to cool a bit, place meat in a seal-able container, strain the fat, and cover the meat with the now strained fat. This can be placed in the fridge and kept for months! Just pull it out and heat it in a little of the fat when ready to eat.

We have tried this recipe twice. Once, successfully, the other not. The problem that occurred was an error on our part. When packing confit you absolutely must leave a nice thick layer of fat on top of your last layer of meat or else it will get moldy, and not age gracefully as directed. !

Confessions of a Wayward Blogger

In the spirit of the new year I have looked deeply inside myself and realized these truths about my blog: 1) I possess subconscious, deep-seeded guilt about not blogging 2) I am much better at blogging in the winter, preferably when crippled. 3)I actually need my blog because otherwise, I have no idea what the hell I did last year.

So, since being crippled isn't an attractive option, my New Year's resolution will be to bank my blog entries when I have the time (winter) and distribute them evenly throughout the year so as not to frustrate my Mom and the very few other regular readers who have not forsaken me. Also, while I am confessing- I actually promised to persist with Hops and Chops because I sold my soul to Miss Yum Yum for this box of free Dove chocolates.

I do feel that the key to having a guilt-free blog means maintaining consistency. I feel readers should expect something at least every week. Therefore, I will try to make one weekly post, perhaps more. This should not be too difficult considering there is so much to tell. This would be a lot easier as well if some of you lurkers would come out of the shadows and help me like I asked.

At the risk of sounding like my boss- I really have been very busy. Although, unlike my boss who uses this phrase as a euphemism for "I have to go to the yacht club and put my boat in the water" I really do have a lot of stuff to blog about.

The Naughty Nurse is responsible for much of this new found content of interest.

If you had a Hops and Chops time line you would see that the same time we met the Naughty Nurse directly corresponds with the egregious lack of blog entries. This is because our new found friend is not only a very knowledgeable home brewer, but also a very serious task-master. As a result, we have had a very full beer schedule in 2008. The good news is- Mr. Chops and I have been learning to brew beer! We attended home brew beer meetings, and home brew competitions, and learned to brew beer using all grain. We have also been introduced to the wonderful world of making hard cider. Not only this- but the Nurse has also showed us to how to roast coffee at home! All this, of course, would keep any normal people busy, but not us! We have also made our first confit, venison sausage, malt vinegar, gone on a smoked meat pilgrimage and discovered goose bacon.

There is one bit of bad news- I still can't bring myself to eat a squirrel. But perhaps, if Mr. Goodbar and Ms. Yum Yum had called us when they had six of them living in their house, we could have crossed that one of our list and had a delicious dinner to boot!

Blame Canada

Hello again! No, I didn't enter the witness protection program- I just went on vacation and forgot to tell anyone. Or perhaps that was on purpose so no one would raid the kegerator while we were gone. But as consolation for all those long weeks with out any new H&C, I have tales from Nova Scotia to serve up soon as I figure out how to pay all these bills that piled up while I was away. But first- I have to warn all those unsuspecting folk out there who might be packing up for Nova Scotia: Pack your own beer friends! So what if the Canadian Government says you can only bring one case into the country without penalty! Trust me- whatever the penalty is- it is not nearly as grim as having to drink Nova Scotian beer!

Clams and Beer

In the summertime, we eat a lot of clams, and, as you may already know- beer goes well with clams. Especially nice is this Hazed and Infused Ale from Boulder Brewing. You may remember this brew from my post about really hoppy beers. It is a consummate summer beer; low in alcohol, high in refreshing hops, and very finely carbonated. It is brewed with chinook, willamette, and cascade hops and then dry hopped with crystal and centennial hops. We like it so much we bought a keg of it so we could have it on tap.

As I have stated previously, there are few redeeming qualities to living in CT when it comes to beer and beer culture. However, we are lucky enough to have easy access to fresh clams at wholesale prices. We buy cherry stones, right off the boat, one hundred count at a time, and leave them in our beer fridge where they stay fresh and delicious for two weeks or more (as long as you keep them dry, no ice or salted water please!). Mr. Chops likes them raw, straight up. But we both like them grilled. We throw a whole bunch on the grill, cover them until they start to open up, ripping the empty side of the shell off so the clam side sits flat on the grill. Then douse the side with the clam in mixture of garlic simmered in butter, lemon, hot sauce, and parsley. We pull them off as the butter starts to simmer inside the shell. Of course, there are many variations to be had on this according to taste. If I feel like going all out, I put little pieces of crispy bacon in too. Yum! These make a really easy appetizer too. My usual ratio is 1 stick of butter, 2 cloves of garlic, juices of half a lemon, a handful of parsley and a couple teaspoons of hot sauce. Sometimes I put the mixture in a squeezy bottle to make it easier to squirt in the clams shells, but recently I have just been using a spoon with a long handle and scooping a little of the mix into each shell. Hazed and Infused is the perfect foil for briny clams and the richness of the garlic and butter.